Thursday, January 31, 2008
* 3:41 AM
abah's finally home after 3 weeks at NUH. alhamdulillah =)
i seriously hate my punctuality issues. i can nvr get to anywer on time. i really need to do sumthing abt this. so many new years passed, and the resolution is still the same, yet nothing changed. haha.
i've been cabbing almost everywer i go, which is making much damage to the wallet. i spent atleast $70-$100 per week taking cab, which amounts up to $400 per mth. scary shit.
im
TRYING not to take cab unless its necessary.
earlier, i had a gd sleep till noon, atin was already at the edge of the bed wen i woke up. hahaha. she always give me dat heart attack the moment i open my eyes n look for her. she's learning to crawl already, but she's slower than a tortoise lah.. haha.
as usual, i was late to meet zann. i cabbed down to work to get a few stuffs, then cabbed again to the cathay to meet her. we settled down at hotdog factory for lunch. i had their beef bolognaise beef hotdog. zann had macaroni cheese beef hotdog.
then went up to the lounge for the meeting, which gave me a severe headache afterwards.
dropped by cineleisure before heading over back to work. aiyyoooo there seems to be tons of work to be done. but i feel like im still in a daze. lost in space. haha. need to pull myself together!!!
next week's gonna be one hell of a hectic week. 4 double midnites in a row. i guess der's 6 new movies screening.
the last movie i watched must have been i m legend/avp2. i need to watch cloverfield, rambo 4, p.s I luv u, CJ7, ahlong pte ltd, 27 dresses.............wer to find the timeeeee????????? haiz....
anyway, looking forward to the following screenings...
Jumper (must watch!!!)
Water Horse
Vantage Point (must watch!!!)
Sky of Love
Feast of Love
klah... off to bed. almost 5am already lar...
Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
* 5:50 PM
abah's still warded. but he's definitely doing better. alhamdulillah. atin n me went to visit him ystrdy morning, and he was busy munching chocolates. haha. and i bought for him coke =) hahaha.
headed straight to work after that, work load's piling up. im getting really stressed up. one of the staff actually came up to talk to me. telling me how much ive changed. they said i lost the fun in me. if only they knew...
atin went for her hepB jab ystrdy too. and she had a good 30sec cry. haha. after that she's ok =)
here's a couple of videos of her too =)
she refused to eat!!!
she's still very small... many tot she shrinked. haha. at 6mths+ she weighs only 7.3kg. hehe.
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
* 2:14 AM
it's past 2am, and im sitting lazily on the chair with my tub of haagen dazs's begian chocolate. chocolates = stress reliever. i turn to chocolates too wen i need to hype myself up at work. hehe.
good news, dad's out from ICU. bad news, he's still warded.
he's recovering pretty well. all his abrasions seems to be healing fast. all the wounds on his mouth, cheek and nose are almost gone. shud be the polloney thingy that he's taking i suppose.
he told me the doctor said he might not be able to walk for abt 2years or so. hopefully it'll be much earlier than that.
doctors, please let him go home. i really pity my mom, she's gonna be torn apart real soon.
my life seems pretty ok lately. except for matters concerning the heart. it really sucks big time.
ppl take promises to lightly. 'yes, i promise u' .... in the end, a (supposedly) life long promise lasted only for a day.
wen shit happens, then only i can realise wat was going on, and start to think using the brain. it made sense all along, it's just that i was blinded by emotions. i feel like knocking myself hard on the head at times.
work's great. luv the ppl der. i havent got the chance to watch cloverfield. today itself, i had 11 patrons walking out of that show. haha. most of them cant continue watching due to severe giddiness and also the need to vomit. haha.
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
* 3:31 AM
my mom have been giving me too many bad news lately. haiz.
i cudnt visit abah ystrdy, had to work. so i called mom in the evening to check on things. she told me abah still have to stay warded coz of the lack of oxygen in him, or his blood or sumthing like dat. he had breathing problems bla bla bla...
then yesterday, i called mom again. this time, she told me the nurses were helping abah up to go for his theraphy, unfortunately, he fainted.
so they did tests on him, and later found out abah has a blood clot in his lungs.
haiz haiz haiz.
and i got to noe from mom again, now abah's in ICU. he had operations to remove the blood clot. now no one can stay overnite with him. and the visiting hours were fcking strict.
i pity mom alot. she's been staying up all nite to take care of abah, and she'll go back in the morning, to settle things at home, get a few hrs of sleep, then back to the hospital again. im trying my best to adjust my working schedule, so she doesnt have to take care of atin. and SOME ppl just cant understand wat my family is going thru. ive decided not to rely on unreliable ppl to take care of my daughter. its either i skip work, or my mom wud arrange the nxt better player for me. many of my frens have already mentioned that they are gonna lend a helping hand if i ever need to send atin wen im working. i'll make it clear that im not gonna need help from u.
work's fun as usual, but its been pretty gayish lately.. LOL. im pissed off with some of the ppl arnd man. fcking hell. it's just this bunch of ppl who maybe are sent there to irritate the hell out of me.
but still, work's great.
i heard cloverfield is making ppl puke. hahaha.. i dont noe how true. i have yet watched that show. haha.
advise: dont eat to full before watching dat show k.
its been quite some time since i read things that wud break my heart into a million pieces.
the impact's not so great though. guess the numbness is still there.
how can someone judge me wen they dont even noe me?? tapi everything ada hikmah dia. it taught me not to listen to 1 part of a story. doesnt mean org crite kat kite, kite straight away conclude. ive always been the type who just listen to one side of the story... then began making assupmtions wat so eva. but now, i understand wat it can cause.
like bloody hell, i was said being an immature person. and this motherfucker doesnt even noe my name or who i am.
anyway, fcuk lah. it was VERY disturbing at 1st, then i came to my senses a lil. sikit pon tkde menyusahkan dia if im immature or not. but then again maybe they are the OLD ones lah eh, tu pasal otak mati mcm tu.
anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy................
im think atin's not growing well... she's shrinking instead of expanding. haha. my mom tot so too... she's already 6mths, but her body's still like jelly. and my baby doesnt have teeth yet lah sey... haiya....
and she doesnt wanna drink much milk also... skali jadi kurus mcm aku. haha.
here she is, baru abis mandi.. hehe..
k k, need my sleep. happy weekend.
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
* 12:44 AM
trip to the hospital today was much better. abah cud talk better than ystrdy. and he's not relying on the gas mask anymore.
but overall, he still looked bad.
abah got his knee cap cement up and he's going for theraphy 2mrw.
traffic police finally got back to us. it's actually a hit n run case.
the driver eventually went to the police station to make her report. thx eh pompan melayu pakai tudung! dah langgar bapak aku then lari... mangkok jer. my dad's not even angry at u, the least u can do is pay him a visit isnt it?
haiz~
i shud be back to work 2mrw...hopefully i can keep myself busy to get my mind off things.
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
* 12:56 PM
life is really unfair.
mom woke me up with another heart attack news ystrdy, 7.30 in the morning. she said abah n fahmi got into an accident.
rushed to get atin n me ready, and cabbed down to NUH. mom reached after a while. we werent allowed to meet my dad yet, so they told us to go and see fahmi at the children's emergency.
he was on a wheel chair with blood on his uniform, torn pants and that scared look. it was almost 10 wen he finally got to see a doctor and got patched up with a few stitches. sumtimes i really wonder wat take the doctors soooooooooooooooooooooo long.
after fahmi was done, he was discharged. we still werent allowed to see my dad. my mom, me, both my bros, and my aunty n uncle waited impatiently. mom got to see him 1st. coz abah was calling for her. i tot he might just be ok, but mom came back with bad bad news. she was telling us abah didnt knew wer he was. he didnt knew wat happen to him. he was asking y is he in pain. mom said he was screaming coz he cudnt take the pain.
mom described he had blood all over his face, he broke his teeth, his left leg was really very badly in shape, and it was broken.
on his way to the operating theatre, we got to see him for a while. i was already crying my eyes out. he was in such a pitiful state. and was moaning in pain thruout.
we had to wait almost 5hrs outside the operating theatre before he was brought to his ward. by that time, most of my relatives were there. i stood by the side of the bed and cried n cried n cried. but he cudnt turn to see me. i wudnt want him to.
his left leg got bandaged up, he broke his knee cap, and it was replaced with a metal piece if im not wrong. abrasions all over his hands and fingers. he got a long stitch below his neck. and his nose too got all stitched up. his mouth area was really bad. he had this tube to remove blood from i dont noe wer... nurse said he was injured internally as well.
he called each n everyone near him to ask for forgiveness. by this time u can see every single one in tears.
he saw me the last, even though i was the 1st one who was der. i really cant bear to see him. i didnt want him to see me cry. i woke fatin up to meet him. he was holding our heads, telling me to take care of myself n atin incase he went away.
i dont noe wat is he thinking. he still have all of us to take care of him. he have many many more years. he need to see atin walk n talk. atin need to noe her grandpa. all of us still need him.
at that point of time, im willing to give up anything to see him well again. he loved us all unconditionally. he made sure we had good food to eat. and he pampered me the most. how can i not break down seeing him in that condition.
i cried till i almost passed out. i had a bad headache. there's definitely no appetite to eat.
mom's at home taking a nap. she was up all nite to take care of abah. im meeting her in awhile to go to the hospital again. thx for all who came to visit my dad. he wants all of u to noe that he appreciate it alot.
my dear cathay frens who dropped by. thx alot. hopefully i'll be back to work 2mrw.
to all, pls pray for my dad. hopefully he'll be better again soon.
god, u noe he's a good person. pls lessen all his burden and pain. pls let him walk again soon. bring the smile back to his face. he nvr once forgot abt u, pls help him in return. i need him in my life...
Labels: pls pray for my dad.
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Monday, January 14, 2008
* 4:26 AM
ive been googoogaagaaing abt taufik too much lately. seriously if i were to have a son, im gonna name him taufik. Faris Taufik? LOL. k k it doesnt sound very nice.
its almost 4.30am already, and im still wide awake. hopefully i'm able to get up early to go to work... there's like many many many things to be done. im doomed.
im madely in lurve with this little girl =)
.my bestfren.
have a good week ahead! =)
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
Friday, January 11, 2008
* 2:47 PM
atin's sound asleep rite now. i had a long morning with her. she woke me up, by pulling my hair. haha. and then smile at me. she had a good bath with her rubber duckies. yummy breakfast for her as well.
i had her to accompany me in the kitchen while i cooked.
surprisingly, my cooking turned out well, and it was nice. hahahaha...
had my lunch infront of the pc. browsing thru mails, chatting with frens online.
i wonder how true is the saying 'some things are better left unsaid'. how long more can i just let things be as it is? it's very obvious that the word obligation is not in ur life anymore. neither am i asking u to oblige with anything.
and im making things even more difficult for myself coz i make decisions based on wat my heart said, and not the bloody head. it's amazing how u make it seems it's all coming from me. u must have done it many2 times before. like ur a pro already.
so, to say or not to say? i'll have to risk loosing this frenship if i were to blurt out all that's from the heart. but if i choose to just let it be, it'll show how worthless i am.
fcuk.
k, back to reality. ystrdy's my off day. spent the whole day managing the house. had furnitures moved and removed. finally i have a fav room now. a comfy chair infront of the pc desk. i have the printer and nite light, the webcam and atin's pic all on the desk. of course not forgetting my Marshall Mathers CDs and a pic of the man himself. hahaha.
i luv u lah slim shady.. *peace*
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
* 12:01 AM
hmm.. my new year.
initial plan to go siloso was cancelled. but i had the best new year ever, together with atin. kissing her forehead at midnite, wishing her happy new year. and she fell asleep in my arms.
new year resolution; to pamper tintin as much as i can. hehe.
these two kiddo's bdays are coming up on Saturday, 12/01/08.
Nur Fatin Insyirah's turning 6 mths...
Mohd Comot is gonna be 1 year old. yay!
i wanna get a present for comot! hehe.
.abg & adik.
on the 3rd of Jan was the last day for 2 of the best staffs ive ever worked with.
Marc & Mary.
i really miss them alot. i didnt make it to the airport to send them off. hopefully they are doing good now, happy with their loved ones back home.
Marc's shirt.
i'll end with some random pics... i'll try to update again soon kayz.
happy weekend =)
.walking trees at work.
.eat snake @ work. hehe.
.we fell in lurve. hahahahaha.
.going for supper after work. many more pics over @ my multiply =)
.and last, but not least...keep on smilin no matter how shitty life can be. *peace*
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
