i managed to concentrate better at work earlier. kept myself busy. and the hp was kept in my locker to avoid distractions.
kak eida bought for me lunch, pestered me to eat. i almost puked in the office after eating. rushed to the ladies, and thx to the many2 steps there were, i slipped and fell. but i still managed not to puke until i reached the cubicle. i hurt myself pretty bad though... haiz~

i called mom a couple of times today to check on atin. cik aya n mom brought her to the doctor to get her ears pierced. she looks very much like a baby girl now. i'll upload her photo soon.

hav to work in the morning later. gtg.

btw, to all, thx alot... i'll be fine.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

it's almost 2am. im still wide awake, still with tears pouring. it seems like i checked my hp thousands of times since last nite. didnt receive the awaited calls/msgs. reached work late. did alot of errors.. countless mistakes i did today itself. forgetting almost everything else the minute i sink into my deep thoughts. i had to ask and ask again wat the staffs told me they needed. my colleague helped me closing 5 dockets, and i only closed 1. i knew it was gonna hit me bad. i cudnt eat the rice uncle cooked for me, i wasnt hungry despite not having any meals thruout the day. i threw up the food that i ate. i feel weak. locked myself up in the cubicle after dat and just cried. pathetic isnt it? i noe. darling kammy n zally were online chatting with me while i was at work. zally called me up earlier, and so did kammy... thx for listening. aku sayang korg. tintin is not home today. she's over at my mom's. no one to make me smile tonite. i miss her alot. i really need her rite now. she's the only reason im moving on. she's my strength, my love, my joy, my pride, my smile...my everything. i believe its my fault. im sorry. im really sorry. i gave you ur chance, but did u give me mine? it's been a day only, and im already as good as dead. how m i going to go thru the rest of my days like this? y do i have this feeling in me tellin me that this is the end of it all...? the least u can do is let me noe. then i'll make my way out of ur life. i just need to noe.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

have you ever been in love? horrible, isn't it? it makes you so vulnerable. it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. you build up all these defenses, you build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one person, no different from any other person, wonders into your life .... you give them a piece of you, they don't ask for it. they do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. love takes hostages. it gets inside you, eats you up and leave you crying in the darkness. so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. it hurts. not just in the imagination, not just in the mind, it's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. giving up doesn't mean you are weak, it only means that you are strong enough to let go.

after a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. so, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. and you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.

whenever life seems to drift you away from me, i can't help but cry. you've grown to be such a part of me that without you life is no more than a desperate sigh. they do say love comes and goes, and to that i disagree. so, here's my hand, take it and don't let go of me.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

hmmmm.. lemme see....
i guess ive been doing nothin much but work since the last time i blogged.

wednesday sent tintin to mom's place. took the train at admiralty. stared at this girl for almost 5mins. trying to confirm and double confirm to make sure it's the rite person. hahaha. and yup, it's my dear girl nisha. hehe. and she had to ask, "asal kau da kurus?" hahaha. no comment lah eh nisha.

and that nite at work, anees called me. i think... or is it lynn... hmm... they wanted to come over to raya... sorry girls, me working late lah. it wud have been fun to have u girls over.

thursday, my off day. spent half the day cleaning up the house. i havnt been setting my priorities right. i dont seem to organize my time well. sometimes i just dont noe wat the hell im doing.

in the afternoon, cabbed over to kammy's place. didnt plan to go anywer else, just dropping by each other's places. zally reached abt an hr later. went over to zally's place, then to mine.
as usual, we always make full use of the time we had. it's difficult to hav a get-together lately. we had heart-to-heart talks abt issues that's bothering us.
darlings, wateva ur decisions are, i just want u guys to noe that im with u. just be happy ok?

pics coming up in abit...




Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do. Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true.
Hey there Delilah, don't you worry about the distance, i'm right there if you get lonely give this song another listen, close your eyes listen to my voice it's my disguise, I'm by your side.

this has got to be one of the sweetest song. i just cant get enuf of it. and yea, i envy this delilah girl. how i wish.............................. haha.. k, i'll dream on.

girls i luv. my fav pic for the day.



some pics ive uploaded, but didnt post it here...

comot buat pe ehhhhh..... hahahaha.


abg & adik.


the day i went out with ima to ikea. i look very pale and dead, and atin look sooo diff also.


pics taken earlier during our house visits....



atin's bf. haha. erm, dats kammy's nephew.... or cousin.. one of it lah eh..


kammy & atin @ ibu's place.


pompan prasan nk jadi princess. hahahahaha... jgn muntah k tgk.


my les partner.


looks like i just got engaged or married eh.... LOL...


k k, last pic wit that crown thingy. haha... kebabian betol... kammy found it lah, so i gatal go n use it...


zally and kammy @ my place.


mummy zally & mummy kammy going home already... atin sad =(




how eh 2mrw?? hmmmm... how how how ...

haiz~

Labels: fariza's got bad bad backache =(

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

i woke up kinda late today, tintin was already up, greeting me with a wide smile. seeing that is enuf to make my day =)
spent some time playin with her before getting up... then sumthing came across my mind. maybe she looks boyish coz wen i got to noe i was pregnant, ive always wanted a boy. even wen i knew my baby's gonna be a girl, deep in me i wished they made a mistake. haha.... but wen u see ur newborn, it doesnt matter anymore whether its a boy or girl.
i luv my nur fatin insyirah so much!!!

the plan to go visiting was cancelled ystrdy. mom was lazy. she came over to my place instead, bringing my fav food; ayam masak lemak cili padi.... yummy! my dad dropped by after work. oh ya, he's back from mekkah 2-3days ago.... haha. i forgot wen.
so we spent the afternoon adoring tintin... haha... and watched tv.



i guess i do owe u an apology. i hated myself last nite. i was being difficult for no apparent reason. none of the issues really bothers me actually, but i didnt knew wat got into me to react the way i did.
im sorry.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

aarrgghh, im down with flu =(
2mrw's my off day. but still have to go visiting. mom dragging atin n me along.

anyway, took a few pics at work just now.

cute isnt it. black n yellow xmas tree. hehe.




cute stuff =)


me.shasha.elvin.


lily.elvin.



elvin gave me a new name. haha. fuzzy lumkins.

this is fuzzy.
A large, husky, furry pink bear-like hillbilly monster with a wide jaw, a green nose, two antennae on his head and Southern accent wearing bib blue overalls who loves his straw hat, his corncob pipe, his old hunting shotgun (or "boomstick") and his banjo (nicknamed "Joe"), and who will shoot anything he finds trespassing "on his property".
hahahahahahahaha.


well, it's actually coz ppl call me Faz at work. which is very disturbing at times considering the fact that im tryin to forget someone by that name.
but anyway...... that's y elvin called me fuzzy. hehehe. he's a cartoon freak.

doraemon the movie coming in november............. nak ttttttggggggkkkkkk!!!!! =)

oh ya,
da 18th October eh? hehe

Happy Birthday Norsharizal =)

Labels: fuzzy fariza lumkins =)

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

thx eh kwn2 yang comment pasal tintin. hehe. tapi!!!!!! sumer ingat tintin BOY!!! hahaha. haiz, she looks like a baby boy lah, dat i cant deny.
oh ya, the otha day she went for her jab, she didnt cry her lungs out, alhamdulillah, just mengamok kejap time she got injected, then a minute later she's lauging already. hehe. strong girl ah atin =) and she didnt have fever after the jab also =)
the nurse mulut like babi, say so many things abt tintin. ckp tintin pendek lah, kecik lah, her weight is below average. and she's so confident tintin's a boy. bodo peh nurse, tintin wear all pink also donoe how to see i think. bangau.

but wen mom n me went to the doctor's room for her check up after the jab, the doctor was praising abt tintin's overall performance. she said tintin was a strong girl and a healthy baby. so i asked her abt the nurse mentioning tintin's weight being below average. the doctor said it was normal actually, coz im small built myself. so it's expected that tintin wud be more or less small built also. mintak kena sue betol ar ni nurse.
btw, tintin's 5.46kg now.

aannnnnddddddddddddddddd..... atin learned how to roll over already, as in meniarap =) my mom was so excited wen she told me over the fone. hahhaha. she placed atin lying down on the bed, she turned arnd, atin already rolled over. hehe.

i'll be working nite this whole week and maybe nxt week also, so kwn2, aku tk tahu bile nk gi uma korg beraya. and ima, the open house is definitely not going to happen. hahaha. maybe the usual ppl and urself can come over during my off day? we'll see how lah eh.

gtg for now... i need my sleep!!!







...betapa singkat kurasakan kebahagiaan itu kini lenyaplah sudah.
tak pernah ku inginkan perpisahan ini terjadi, ku hanya bisa merelakan jika memang kau fikir inilah yang terbaik.
tak perlu kau beri alasan mengapa kau ingin pergi meninggalkan diriku. kerna ku yakin mungkin semua nya itu bisa membuatmu bahagia. sepenuh nya ku menyadari bahwa cinta itu tak mesti harus memiliki, namunku akan terus selalu menyayangimu...

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

i did sumthing wrong ystrdy... =( and i still feel bad abt it.
im really sorry k?
it's very hectic. if only u knew...

i only got a couple hours of sleep the past few days. and im freaking exhausted.
mlm raya as usual, i wud drop by bazaar geylang. finished work at 2am then took a cab there. still mcm sardin siol even though it was almost 4am. org2 ni sumer takya tdo ke?

pagi raya woke up early to clean up the house. hahahaha. got myself and tintin ready, and went over to my mom's place, then to my grandma's. i didnt recall apologizing to anyone lah this year. hahahahhaa. as in face-to-face i mean. just salam2 then go already =p
but there were tears in my eyes wen i sent this to my darlings pagi raya. i miss my frens!

i had to work raya evening. spent most of the time crappin with elvin. reached home almost 5am after work.

sunday had to wake up early again. went to 2 house visits only. then went to work again. there were many many many many things needed to be done......

going over to my mom's place to send tintin in a while. my whole body's aching, and im still zombified. i need more sleep!

pics coming up!!
mostly tintin's pics only lah...

my comot tintin. pagi raya, lom mandi. hahahahha.


the bear must have done something wrong to her...


learn to walk soon ok... hahahaha


comot and lilo berhari raya @ mom's place.


pretty girl


atin berhari raya with kebaya - take 1.


atin berhari raya with kebaya - take 2.


yay yay, dpt duit collection... hahahahahhaha.


1st hari raya, ibu n tintin.
Selamat Hari Raya to all. maaf kan semua salah silap ye...
salam lebaran, Nur Farizah & Nur Fatin.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

i found Lilo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u shud have seen the smile on my face =) =) =) =)

aannnnddddd..... she's celebrating her 9th mth bday with comot!! hehehe... yupz, i sent her to my mom's place to be 2gether with comot. but she needs time to get use to the environment back again. she doesnt even recognise me already lor... how sad. but it's ok. im glad just to have her back.




she doesnt really like comot being arnd her though. hopefully they'll be like this again in no time....

comot n lilo a few mths back...


i was suppose to meet my colleagues to go to st james. but i had to cancel my plans with them due to some reasons. sorry eh korg2... hope u guys had fun. and so my day was spent with tintin. i just lurve her so much. the way she smile, and laugh... she made my day.

rite now im actually very lost. i find myself staring blankly at things, my thoughts wud wonder for the longest time before i come back to my senses.
y is all these happening? wer did i go wrong? is it really my fault? how many times do i need to say sorry to get things back again?

screaming my lungs out trying to get to u...

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

i havnt got the time to blog lately. ive spending most of my time at work and wen im not at work, im with tintin. i'll be too tired and sleepy once i reach home, falling asleep while sms-ing is an everyday thing now.

2mrw tintin's turning 3! 3mths dat is. hehe.



no matter how much she piss me off at times, i still lurve this maknenek sooo much.
nobody will take u away from ibu ok syg. i luv u. happy 3rd mth bday.

and also my dearest cutie pie, Comot. happy 9th mth comot!! i luv u too.
sorry no new pics for now. haha. nvr take new pics already....




i can see that the words have spread. and all fingers seems to be pointing at me. u want me to point the middle finger back at u ppl?
so wat if im not a gd wife? all that matters to me now is my tintin. all that matters to me is she's taken gd care of and she'll have a gd future.
u ppl can say wat u want. i dont give a fuck anymore.
im tired of pretending, im tired of being nice, im tired of tryin to impress, im tired of all the fucking things that u ppl want me to be.

hmm.. i guess there's nothing much that went on during the whole week i went missing on blogspot.

-met kammy and cuyah the other day. kammy and me was on our break time. cool isnt it to get to meet ur best frens during ur lunch hours. i luv them.
zally, cepat2 cari keje kat sini jugak k. hahahha.

-1st time in my life i had to handle a drunk person at work. bloody hell.

- changed my contact lens twice this week. both my left lens tore. have to get a new one again 2mrw!!!!

2mrw tintin is going for her check up and injection. aiyyooo tintin.. ibu tk tahu.. hahahahaha. she's gonna have a fever coz of the jab. good luck to my mom taking care of her :p
probably mom will pick us up and drive us to the polyclinic, then have to accompany her to pasar geylang i think. then i have to work sumore!! i'll be dead tired. hopefully i can wake up pagi raya.


just a pic to share...



that's abg and me. he's my boss. he's a great guy, a great leader.
i'll take more pics at work sooooonn.......

i wonder wat happened to us lately... pls tell me that all these wud go away, and that everything wud be as it is before... pls? :(

A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars. I'd walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

LoOk whO's in the waLkeR...

hehehe...



my mom's gonna scream at me if she sees this.

it's my off day, and i got bored at home. hehe.
still too small lah eh, only 2mths... still very wobbly.

hahahaha. cian atin.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

seems like it was only ystrdy ramadhan's here. nxt week raya already. how time flies.
unlike previous years, i didnt make any trip to bazaar geylang this year. i'd turn off the radio wenever i hear raya songs. im not making any plans for raya. im not planning to buy a new baju kurung. im not dressing up my house either, even the curtains remains as it is. im not buying kuih raya also, so kalau nk dtg bwk kuih sendiri k. hahahaha.
im working on hari raya itself - by choice.

a few frens actually told me it's not fair for tintin. it's her 1st raya. so i tot i might get a couple of baju kurung for her. maybe dress her up pagi raya, then bring her to my mom's place. dats all i intend to do.

im starting to feel pressurized at work already due to the responsibilities handed over. haha. but i look forward to go to work everyday. it's fun there, i feel at ease. all problems seems to go away. frens to joke with. a buddy to chill out with, and play punk. home is not as sweet anymore. i found a new family there, very welcoming and encouraging =)

last tuesday i attended my company's induction programme. i was with kak eida, my colleague. she's a mother of 6, yet she's full of crap sia. we had so much to laugh abt thruout the day. she helped me stay awake during the theory part of the programme. haha.

dropped by the cathay residence...





kak eida and me asked alot of qns abt residing there... mcm faham ajer. hahaha. wait long long also i think cannot make it. they rent out the place at a minimum amt of $6k, max abt $10k per mth.

ended the programme slightly before 5. kak eida and me went to B&J to have ice cream. dua2 tak puasa. hahahahha. im was havin dat-irritating-day-of-the-mth issue. kak eida seems to have it everyday thruout the mth. hahhahaha.
had a good talk with her, she shared alot with me, despite knowing me only for a short while, it feels good that she actually trust me enuf to share with me her deepest, darkest secrets. and i shared mine with her. she gave me lots of advise. but i cant seem to take any of it into consideration since my mind's already made up...
haiz~

dropped by wisma the other day. went to topshop to get mini topshop for tintin =) bought 2 tops and a black mina2 pants for her.. hahaha.
and ystrdy met up with my darlings. earlier during kammy's lunch time, she actually went up to meet me. haha. we talked for a while, my dear girl had a new hair-do. babydoll haircut, so cute.
zally came down to meet us after work, and the 3 of us went for dinner at banquet. it's good to finally sit down and have a meal together. i missed them alot.

.Ppl i Love.


oh btw, Good Luck Chuck is absofuckinglutely cute, and funny. haha. must watch k.

gd day ppl.

*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets So love the people who treat you right, forget about those who don't & believe that everything happens for a reason If you get a chance, take it, if it changes your life, let it No one said it would be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it.


Nur Farizah
.160983.



I am who I am. & your opinion isn't needed.

sakura_yuta@hotmail.com

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120707, 1002hrs
Nur Fatin Insyirah


You make me smile more than anyone else in the world.



120107, 0842hrs
Comot

.darlin.zally.
.anees.
.ima.
.ima.com.
.effah.
.eisha.
.siti.
.citee.
.lynn.
.fatifati.
.caca.
.saazliana.
.angie.
.mas.
.siti.
.fad.
.weixiang.
.angel.
.ceput.
.salina.
.darina.
.hadianto.
.nisa.
.shuyun.
.kak.nana.
.surya.
.mira.
.mira.latif.








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