have you ever been in love? horrible, isn't it? it makes you so vulnerable. it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. you build up all these defenses, you build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one person, no different from any other person, wonders into your life .... you give them a piece of you, they don't ask for it. they do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. love takes hostages. it gets inside you, eats you up and leave you crying in the darkness. so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. it hurts. not just in the imagination, not just in the mind, it's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. giving up doesn't mean you are weak, it only means that you are strong enough to let go.
after a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. so, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. and you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth.
| whenever life seems to drift you away from me, i can't help but cry. you've grown to be such a part of me that without you life is no more than a desperate sigh. they do say love comes and goes, and to that i disagree. so, here's my hand, take it and don't let go of me. |
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
