Monday, April 30, 2007
* 6:34 PM
yay! my fav dance floor contestant won =)
lazed arnd in bed with mohd fadir watching 300 on sunday morning, and spent the afternoon at zhenghua sec, they had a soccer game.
luck's on my side, it didnt rain and there's a shady place for me to hang arnd and watch them play. and as i was sitting there, listening to blink182, minding my own business, my head got hit by a ball... suckz!
i looked damn stupid for a while i guess, and it's a good thing Mark was still screaming in my eyes... so i cant hear if anyone laughed at me. haha.
we bought lots of food from the pasar malam before heading home. and finally i get to eat durian. thx to my dear who bought for me the expensive ones =) very sweet and creamy. *yummylicious*
and because of the durians, i think, i cant sleep.
tossed and turned...nothing seems to make me sleep. heavy downpour at 3am, shud have been a nice weather to be tucked in bed :(
managed to get my sleep only at 8.30 this morning.
last nite wen i cudnt sleep, lots of things came across my mind. like i've predicted, 2007 is gonna be a quiet year for me.
i shut myself from lots of ppl... i choose to be arnd only a handful of em.
all my life, i cared abt wat ppl thought. i've always been afraid of consequences. i've always made the effort.
now i refuse to care wat's gonna happen if i dont make the effort. mutual respect doesnt seem to matter at all.
this seems to be the most important thing in my life. but there's no support, no care, love never existed.
and the other relationship's so fake. i guess by now u must have spread the words; abt how unworthy i am. seriously, i dont care.
both of u shud be ashame of urselves; all the things i need to noe and learn from u, others are doing them for me.
wen the day comes, dont pretend like u care, dont fake it. hyprocrite ppl suckz. im not gonna buy it.
i have good frens arnd me who care, a husband who loves me... i can rely on them.
oh ya, before i go, he's a pic of my gd fren, mohd fadir's best fren, irwan a.k.a beng. wanted to post this on the previous entry, but i forgot... getting old.. :p
they look a lil alike isnt it?
it's taken at momo i think. he used to be in a relationship which i envied. mohd fadir and me, him and her.. he's the best boyfren anyone cud ever have. but their 5 years or so relationship ended with a selfish decision she made.
she thinks he's not good enuf for her.
i cud go on and on mocking her, but i shall not. coz i noe beng doesnt. he even attended her wedding. i wudnt if i were him.
he's not the same beng i used to noe.
look wat u've done dear selfish girl.
haiz~
oh well...
happy labour day.
*I get up, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.
